Welcome to the wild, wonderful world of strap-on play! Whether you're exploring new territory with a partner or shopping solo for your first harness and dildo, this beginner’s guide is your go-to for everything you need to know about how to use a strap-on. We’ll cover the basics, from choosing the right gear to strap-on positions that’ll have you saying “oh YES, that one!”, with plenty of fun and zero shame.
What Are Strap-Ons and Who Are They For?
Strap-on dildos are wearable toys designed to bring penetration play into the mix, no matter your gender, anatomy, or relationship dynamic. While they’re often associated with lesbian strap-on sex, the truth is anyone (and everyone!) can enjoy them. That includes queer, straight, trans, cis, nonbinary folks, and couples of all kinds.
At its core, strap-on sex is about power, pleasure, and playful connection. You might be exploring pegging, indulging in role play, or discovering new ways to connect with your partner. Whatever your reason, there’s a strap-on harness and dildo out there with your name on it.
Choosing Your First Strap-On: Size, Style, and “Ooh Yes, That One”
If you're new to the game, here’s what to keep in mind when shopping for your first beginner strap-on:
Harness Types:
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Jock-strap style – Classic, adjustable, and super secure. Great for beginners who want structure.
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Panty-style – Sleek, soft, and comfy. A more discreet option that still gets the job done.
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Vac-U-Lock or O-ring harnesses – Want to swap out your dildos depending on the day (or mood)? These make it easy.
Ready to explore options? Check out our full lineup of strap-on harnesses and dildos.
Dildo Attachment Considerations:
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Size matters—start small. For your first go, a dildo with a 1" to 1.5” diameter is perfect. It’s all about comfort and confidence.
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Material magic. We highly recommend body-safe silicone—it’s smooth, non-porous, easy to clean, and feels ah-mazing.
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Shape it up. Want to target the G-spot or prostate? Look for a curved shape. For general play, a straight style works beautifully.
Top brands at funlove.com include Blush Novelties, Strap-On-Me, and Tantus, known for their high-quality body-safe dildos and inclusive designs.
Tips on Getting Comfortable Wearing It (and Using It)
Before you bring your strap-on sex fantasy to life with a partner, take it for a solo spin! Wear your harness around the house, adjust the straps, get familiar with how it moves with your body, and practice some basic thrusting motions. The more confident you feel solo, the more natural it’ll feel during partner play.
Bonus tip: Check the mirror while practicing, it’s sexy and educational.
Foreplay + Lube = Yes, Please
Want to know the real secret to great strap-on sex? Foreplay and lube. Seriously.
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Foreplay helps you both relax, connect, and get turned on.
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A generous amount of water-based or hybrid lube makes everything glide like a dream—especially important if you're trying anal play or pegging.
Find your perfect match with our guide to the best lubes for every kind of penetration.
Positions to Try (And Why They Rock)
You’ve got the gear, the lube, and the vibes, now let’s talk positions.
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Missionary (face-to-face) – Great for intimacy and eye contact, especially with a pillow under the hips for the right angle.
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Doggy style – Classic and allows for deeper penetration. Try this with a harness that has a snug fit.
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Cowgirl/Reverse cowgirl – If your partner is riding, they’re in control of depth and rhythm, making this one perfect for beginners.
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Spooning – Cozy, slower-paced, and perfect for when you’re still finding your groove.
Explore our favorite vibrating strap-ons if you want to add even more stimulation to the mix!
A Quick Word on Communication
Whether you’re trying strap-on sex for the first time or adding a new toy to your regular routine, communication is everything. Talk about boundaries, use safe words if needed, and check in before, during, and after. Enthusiastic consent = the ultimate turn-on.
Ready to strap in?
FunLove is your go-to adult toy store for the best strap-ons for beginners, couples, and curious explorers. Whether you’re looking for a double-ended strap-on, a pegging harness, or a toy designed specifically for gender-inclusive sex, we’ve got something to fit your body, and your fantasy.
Explore our full collection of harnesses and strap-ons, read up on pegging FAQs, and get ready to discover your new favorite kind of pleasure.
Strap on. Game on. Let’s play. 💋